Thursday, March 31, 2011

Short dresses

So my Mother and Brother came to the family night at the gender group. It was kinda sorta awesome. A lot of supportive people there. Great to see.

We were separated at some point, our allies drawn into another room, and afterwards we compared lists we had made, of hopes and fears. There was a lot of similarity, but they were surprised to learn that while they had one page of hopes and fears, we had six.

Chief among the fears our parents, family, and friends have is safety: medically, socially, and mentally. It is understandable.

Interestingly enough my Mom had a conversation about me with the coordinator, and she brought up her concern of how short my dress was on Saturday at the club. Lol! I haven't even begun hormones, but apparently it will be like puberty, and we will have a tendency to wear dresses and skirts that are quite revealing.

Now I must confess I was amused, but inwardly defiant. I love dresses, and I have great legs and want to show them off. I like having attention, and by no means would I say I dress 'slutty'. I just show a lot of my pale body.


These pics are examples of outfits I have worn or will wear. This is, essentially, my style. Now I'm a slut. Please don't mistake me here. I'm 100% dick dreaming, boycrazed and polyamorous. The line up for the gangbang is on the left, which of you gorgeous men are going to rub me down with oil first?

I don't really relate to the fetish clothing aspects that many tgirls enjoy: nylons, red/black outfit combinations, leather/latexpvc, towering heels. Please know I am happy for you to express yourself, like, however you want, fer sure! Bimbotization fetish aside though, do you feel like you dress sluttier than cisgender women? For the more advanced of us, did you initially wear more revealing clothing, and now find yourself drawn towards more appropriate knee-length outfits?


I'm super interested to know! Either way, we are all lady fabulous and should be proud!

Boys Boys Boys

I love 'em! I want to get my hands all over gorgeous hard male bodies. I'm already hopelessly boycrazy and Doctors warn estrogen will make male pheromones 'intoxicating' to me. Bring it on Doc! I want ALL the boycraze.

I'm so proud of myself for having such overwhelming arousal towards males. Can you imagine what girls are for? I can't! I had been with tens of thousands of men online before I even had a kiss from a girl. I felt nothing, thought movies exaggerated the experience, the sex, etc.


But the truth is, and I'm not sure why I didn't take this as a wake up call, that I would shake and swoon and melt just TALKING to men online. It is an intensely enjoyable experience to feel the presence of males wash over me. Girls are wasted on me.


I love how males know what to say to make me blossom. The gentle dominance that is innate to their kind, that I find so desperately attractive that it makes my boipussy tingle and the desire to be filled with throbbing life undeniable.



So I thought I'd show some hot pics of guys, some hard bodies I want to grab, men I want to kiss me breathless and carry me to the bedroom to ravish me.

Apologies to all you guys who didn't enjoy the pics. I'll make it up to you on my yahoo, lol.

Monday, March 28, 2011

1st night out on the town!

I had a wonderful time going to a club on Saturday night with my sistas in tow. Despite a calamity of tiny errors we had a blast. My friend did up all our makeup smoky eye awesome, and then into the cold we went.

I had thought up my outfit when it was 12 degrees outside. On Saturday it was -12. I had a cute little dress on.. little as in ending mid thigh, and no tights, just my smooth and pale legs. Many eyes were upon me, yes, but outside the club it may have been for a different reason. In order to stay warm I had bought this fabulous big black/brown fur coat. I did not realize it was longer than my dress...

Yup, outside in public I looked like I was wearing a fur coat, and nothing else.

The bouncer was this yummy black guy. He checked my friends' ids and they were in, he saw my boy id and didn't bat an eye, he just smiled and touched my elbow. I swooned for like five minutes afterwards.


Once inside it was fabulous. The coat check girl was super nice to me and loved my look and then the eyes started. Because of my little calamities I wasn't as confident as I usually am, so I didn't smolder back at them and get slut fucked in the stairwell, but I was caressed and grabbed as I danced.

I had a tiny trip on the dance floor. Heels not easy girls. Then I decided to sit down and talk to the birthday girl, the reason we were there. I made friends, was complimented repeatedly on my shoes, my legs, omg i can't get over how good your shoes look on you. I soaked it in. Shoes, nails, dress, makeup, hair: Hearing about how impressed they are with how I coordinate is big for me.


I learned a few things about my night out. Comment with your tips on clubbing dressed.

1. You don't make out with boys sitting down. Dance floor is where the sex begins.
2. Bring flats. Heels are sexy, dancing with boys is sexier.
3. I brought a larger bag. Don't. Bring a clutch, even if your sistas want you to carry their stuff ha

I'm hooked though. The place was so friendly and I'm definitely going back. Next time with a longer dress, flats, a clutch purse, and a little more money to get buzzed so my dancing becomes less nervous.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Saturday Night's Alright for Tucking

I'm going to a trans friendly club on Saturday. This will mark the first time I've gone to a public place dressed. Halloween found me at a house party, but this is different. This is downtown Toronto on a Saturday night hand in hand with my sista Aya, surrounded by guys on the prowl.

I'm really excited, and I have my outfit planned, but something I never even thought of before was brought to my attention: Tucking.


Silly as it may seem, I apparently had no idea what tucking was. I thought it was something hung tgirls do to hide their swinging monsters. I thought it wasn't something my tiny princess needed to worry about. I certainly didn't think it meant putting my berries inside me!!!

I'm scared. I've been practicing, and I'm making progress, but there is some discomfort to be expected and so I'm not sure how much pressure I should put to get the balls into the corner pockets.

I looked at some videos and they were helpful, but in earnest they focused too much on the taping part, where what I'm concerned about is, oh I don't know, the 'push my testicles inside my body' part.


Any tips or references you can give me would be so helpful. I want to do a good job, maybe flirt, make out, who knows, maybe we'll bring a guy home and devour him together. In order to do that though, I need to tuck. I'm such a wimp.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Q&A and Coming Out: Brother

Firstly I came out to my brother last night. Most anticlimactic reaction ever, lol. "It doesn't matter," he said. While he didn't have many questions, I'm glad that he's fine with it. I'm lucky.


I'm lucky for a lot of reasons. Family is being supportive so far, though the hardest people to tell are ahead still. I'm also very lucky because I have such a vibrant following of yummy guys who say the sweetest things! I've been receiving a lot of compliments and along with that, a number of questions. I've decided to start answering some. If you have anything you want to ask me, feel free uh... email me? I.. I dunno.. feel free to teach me how to put a gadget that let's me get formspring questions. lol. I'm looking forward to it!



Jim says:

I just wanted to say how much I adore your blog, your captions, and your personality. You are indeed the most interesting person on imagefap. And the way you tap into the male psyche is quite impressive. I'm a "straight" guy, I date girls, but I'm private I'm a secret gayboy slut who loves ladyboys. I'm more of a bottom, but I can also be a top. I also love lesbian stuff and black cock, so your pictures and captions appeal to me on so many levels. I'm curious, are you 100% into guys or are you sexually attracted to women in some way as well? What type of guy turns you on the most?


Wow Jim I'm so glad you share this with me! This positive feedback is soOo good.

I'm pragmatically bisexual. That is to say, some women have enough charm and willpower to seduce me into a touch of submissive enjoyment. That said, I largely consider myself straight. I prefer males enormously and would in fact kick a woman out of bed for the sheer enjoyment of it.

I cannot see myself in another relationship with a woman. They suck at relationships.

I verrrrry much enjoy teasing straight girls and helping lesbians turn straight girls out. It helps my cause. I want all the men.

As for men (a favourite topic): I am attracted to a wide variety of guys. It is charm and confidence that spreads my legs. I would not say overly so, but I am submissive by nature. I am the yin and I seek yangs. I dont like abuse or pain, I like to be treated like a trophy, and I like big hands on me. I like a male to put me in several sexual positions in a session, and to make me feel vulnerable, from having my legs up on his shoulders to feeling his chest at my back and his hand turning my head to kiss me from behind.

I like men's hands, their chests and god i am so attracted to abs. I like males who are bigger and stronger than me, and taller, though none of those things are hard to find. I like guys who have a gentle sort of dominance, that is to say they don't bluntly require 'Master' and rules and traditional D/s culture. I like it when men buy me things.

I had so much fun answering. Does this help or only inspire more questions?

sparkles and rainbows,

mei

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Study Says: Men Prefer Shemales

This isn't my article, but the original source is unclear to me. I've put in bold some of the information that stands out to me, and tried to leave out some of the authors politically incorrect extrapolations. It was published based on internet statistic information in 2009, and pleases me a great deal. There are some aspects that might rub people the wrong way, but the data is irrefutable:


You'd rather get off to me than to your girlfriend. ^_^


Now if we can only work on your comfort dating shemales, we'd be all set, and you'd be free from those nagging conversations and inability to be allowed to play video games or nap.


On with the show:


“Whether they want to admit it or not, the numbers on the web show us that there’s definite interest,” says Alex Ladd, co-owner and head of production for DVSX.com. In an interview with adult-industry newssource Xbiz.com, Ladd couched the trend in the language of his trade: “Straight men want trannies.”

Research gathered from more than a dozen major sources – including Alexa, Google and Internet World Stats – reveals that nearly 190 million heterosexual men are attracted to transsexual women and actively seek romantic contact with or sexually explicit images of them annually.

“The Internet really has made the whole thing more popular in the last few years,” says Steven Gallon , owner of Grooby Productions, one of the first transsexual sites launched a decade ago. “You’re now seeing [transsexuals] in mainstream advertising and on TV shows. That and the Internet have made it [socially acceptable for transsexuals] to be out there on display.”

Such displays come as no surprise to Hollywood darling Seth Rogen, star of such films as Knocked Up, Pineapple Express and Observe & Report. “One thing I’ve learned through various mainstream sex sites is that way more guys are into transsexual porn than one would like to think,” Rogan told Maxim last October. “I feel like it’s the elephant in America’s room: the secret love of transsexual porno.”


SIZE MATTERS IN THE (TRANS)SEXUAL REVOLUTION
Interest in “transsexual” topics has risen more than 5,000 percent in the past five years. Combined traffic from the top 10 adult sites and top 10 dating sites catering exclusively to trans-loving males has risen 350 percent in the past 90 days alone. Straight male visitors to these 20 websites now top 188 million annually – not including traffic counts from the other 300+ transs sites already online.

Size Matters: The Global Trans Market
Secret or not, the phenomenon is not an exclusively American one. Although comprised predominately of single, middle-class residents of the US, UK, Australia and Canada, these transsexual “admirers,” as they’re called, can also be found in major metropolitan cities throughout South America, Europe and Asia.


According to the latest Internet statistics, interest in “transsexual” topics has risen more than 5,000 percent in the past five years, and interest in “transsexual dating” has surged more than 400 percent. In the past 90 days alone, combined traffic from the top 10 adult sites and top 10 dating sites catering exclusively to trans-loving males has risen 350 percent. While some crossover invariably exists, heterosexual male visitors to these 20 websites now top 188 million annually. And this figure doesn’t include traffic counts from the additional 300+ transsexual sites already in existence or from new ones being created by mainstream giants like Hustler.

But it’s the “heterosexual male” descriptor that continues to baffle many observers – or so they claim. Might they, too, be harboring a “ trans-secret?” Gallon thinks they might be: “The majority of customers [who purchase transsexual porn] are straight men.” In fact, Gallon says , “[transsexual content generates] practically no response in the gay market at all. I don’t even bother to promote it to the gay market, because it would be a waste of money.” Not only are most of his customers heterosexual men, Gallon says, “some are movie stars, rock stars and sports figures” – guys most would consider “heterosexual role models."


ANYTHING BUT GAY
“Men who buy our porn do NOT buy gay porn,” says Wendy Williams, AVN 2009 Transsexual Performer of the Year. “I have dealt with many admirers of transsexuals, and the large majority identify themselves as straight. They are attracted to the feminine appearance – long hair, breasts, smooth skin, hips and ass.” So to all you adult-videostore managers out there who place transsexual titles alongside gay ones, Keith Webb of gay powerhouse Titan Media has some friendly professional advice: “Get it the hell out!”

“Let me tell you, it’s not gay,” agrees Keith Webb , co-owner and vice president of gay powerhouse Titan Media. “Gay men do not want to watch [transsexual women]. It’s straight men who want to watch it.” And to all those adult-videostore managers out there who place transsexual titles alongside gay ones, Webb has some friendly advice: “Get it the hell out!”


The Trans-Cash Caravan: “Outselling Everything ”

According to Ladd, transsexual content has become a “really hip and viable source of income over the last two to three years. … Major production companies have jumped on the [transsexual] bandwagon, including Vivid, Anabolic, Caballero, Metro Interactive and Red Light District, to name a few.”

One of the caravan’s newest members, David K of PimpRoll hitched up his wagon only this month. In a recentinterview with reporter Stephen Yagielowicz, K revealed that, while his company considered launching each of its seven new transsexual websites “on a longer time frame, the [transsexual] niche is so hot right now that we have decided to go for maximum impact all at once.”

For some in the biz, transsexual material is now outpacing mainstream material in both overall sales and market growth. Even traditional print-media behemoths Penthouse and Hustler have begun to spotlight transsexual women in full-blown features. Not to be outdone online, Hustler announced as recently as June 2009 the creation of its first transsexual-only adult website, even as more traditional outlets continue to increase their coverage of the, uhm, “less-revealing” side of transsexualism. Google Analytics reveals that, of the nearly 30,000 transsexual-related news stories published in the mainstream media over the past 45 years, more than half (15,100) have surfaced in the past five years alone.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Most interesting person on Imagefap

"Thanks for the comments babe. I think you're possibly the most interesting person on imagefap x" That is the comment I received from CaughtSlippin'Again. I love to leave teasing little messages on people's imagefap galleries. You can see what I wrote to inspire such praise by checking out the profile.

I hear a lot that something about me sets me apart from a lot of others. It makes me feel wonderful because they are talking about my personality. My mind. My body is a journey, but my mind is already very popular. I look forward to the day when my body is fabulous enough to make the pornographic expressions I want to achieve come true.

I've updated my imagefap once again. Ladyboy Joys is the latest gallery. I hope you are inspired by the pics I selected.






Sunday, March 13, 2011

Yoga and Relaxation

I've been taking a yoga and meditation course and it is wonderful. It is really just skimming the surface of yoga, and has a larger meditation component but I'm finding it so enjoyable.


I love the sensations of stretching in yoga and the end result is ample calm, docile, and sensual wellness. I would very much like a strong male to lay his hands on me and guide me through each position. Yoga is such a sensual experience.

Likely you find it as no surprise I enjoy meditation, what with my rampant desires for hypnosis. I've been using hypnosis as a lifestyle tool for some time, and have been blessed with more hypnotic influence in recent months. I never found the mp3s particularly useful, except for the binaurals that were made especially for me. The erotic hypnosis mp3s, I feel, are entertainment. Candy. That is enjoyable, but I want deep voiced masculine relaxation. I'm lucky to get it.

My friend made another lovely hypnotic caption of me. So amazing it demands sharing here.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Deadly Sins At My Own Pace

Sure I'm completely consumed with lust and have a sweet tooth for greed, but I've always struggled with envy. I compare myself to others in my vanity, I would achieve my goals more quickly if not for sloth. I'd have the body I deserve if not for gluttony, and all of this waiting gives me wrath.

I counted them all, right? ^_^ I found these Princess Deadly Sins pieces today and felt connected to what I'm going through now.


So I've got a hormone Doctor, but no money for hormones. I've got a therapist I will begin seeing in two weeks, but a life situation that is still complicated. I've got guys offering threesomes, and yet my stuff is still with my friend who I haven't seen for weeks. Basically, ups and downs.

I can look across the table at the gender support group and feel envy for how far some others are in their transitions, or how much simpler their home lives are. What I find pride in is that each week we go there, I have moved forward at a seemingly faster and more consistently successful pace than some of those I envy. That makes me smile.


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