Money troubles

Money turned out to be an issue during medical leave. My employer incorrectly filled out my record of employment, so Employment Insurance didn't get delivered to me until a week before I returned to work. The government deliberated on my case because of my employer's mistake, and in the meantime I had to rack up credit card debt at 29.9% interest to survive. 

Now I'm back at work, my review didn't include any sort of salary adjustment to reflect the 3x workload I've been handling for the past 2 years since taking a new position, and they are unapologetic in the matter of the record of employment.

I'm in deep trouble and I find so much of my time is spent either at work in a state of stress or at home in a state of stress. I truly do not know how to get out of this.

Dilation helps me keep sane.

PayPal sucks again

A few years ago I was accepting donations here by way of my PayPal. Within ONE day of opening up for donations, they limited my account, stole the money and forever prevent me from using eBay, Kickstarter, and most online shopping. Forever and without any explanation.

I setup a corporate account with my corporate. For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, corporations are separate from their board of directors. Well, they went ahead and arbitrarily closed my account again, citing fraud. There is no appeal process.

It is not fraud. I have a a legitimate corporation and I hadn't even used the Paypal account.

Utter nonsense.

Paypal has and deserves a terrible reputation with many people. I'm now designing a video game that I plan to roll out on Google Play. I will be using Google Checkout I suppose, but if you have any suggestions for a better payment provider, please let me know.

What an absurd world we live in.

Life after SRS

It has been awhile and in no small part my hiatus has been due to life struggles. I figure I end up sounding like a broken record if all I do is go on and on about how things aren't so great.

I keep up on Tumblr easily enough. I dunno, I guess it is the convenience of an easy to use app on my phone. Also a habitual reblogging of fine lady porns.

I get questions there from time to time. Here's one now.

How are you doing after your srs is your life starting to be normal

Great question! I’d say I’m about 80% healed. I still have some bleeding when I dilate with the really big 4th dilator and I get some soreness from swelling when I wear skinny jeans, but that’s to be expected. 

I’m down to 2 dilations a day, once in morning and again at night. I try to aim for 12 hours because if I don’t dilate in the night until its been like 14-16 hours the tightness is painful. 

I’ve returned to regular duties at work. Granted, I work in an office so my job is to sit down a lot, but that’s fine. I’ve been advised not to participate in work out programs or dance programs for a year. Sadly, no yoga or pole dancing until 2015. 

To be honest, my sex drive has diminished. My sex drive has always been cerebral and I think it is a mixed bag of still recovering medically and also being kicked in the face emotionally a LOT. Life has been stressful. I’ve incurred financial hardship because of being off work during my recovery that I do not see a way to recover from. I’m having a hard time mentally.

Also, I don’t really feel I can connect to anyone local to me. I know a few guys who I talk to but nothing has clicked enough for them to care enough to come visit me so I have not had sex yet. I’m anxious to try but I’m also anxious because I don’t want to get hurt during the act.

Plus size in mississauga

Addition Elle and Penningtons will be Ok. There is an outlet with change room at Dundas past Dixie but before the 427.

Voluptuous is the best. They just moved to Queen St. Check out their website. I love their stuff.

I also LOVE Torrid. It's a USA company so I shop online but their clothes are amazing and prices are fair. Shipping will cost though unless you trek down to Buffalo to the Walden Galleria.

Milk Bath

I'm going to be producing a longer video with a milk bath and be selling it somewhere, likely clips4sale. In the meantime, you can always check out my tumblr for sexy pics of me, others, and hypnosis captions.

Returning to Work

Well I ended up getting some medical benefits. Unfortunately, it was so late and so little that I'm in a financially precarious situation. I'm going to have to make some changes. For starters, I won't be able to continue with laser hair removal on most parts of my body. This several year effort will now take a decade. Very uncool.

I'm returning to work in June, though. I heard they are changing the pay structure, so it might help. I need to come up with an extra 10k a year to compensate for child support before I could return laser hair removal and some other transition related costs to my life. I'm so far away from savings, vacations, and mortgages at this point that it seems like fantasy fiction to hear about them. I'm middle class.

I recently posted another video about my transition. Now that I'm feeling better I'll be creating more content, sexy and otherwise. Hopefully I can monetize it where I was unable to do so previously.

SRS Dilators

No EI benefits while on sick leave

I've been having a hard time during my recovery. It hasn't been the healing, that's going well, but it has been the financial duress of having taken time off work and having the Government of Canada take a very long time to even consider my claim.

"No Employment Insurance benefits are payable to you effective March 23, 2014 because you voluntarily left your employment without just cause within the meaning of the Employment Insurance Act."
- Government of Canada

I return to work at the end of May. They tell me they will decide by May 21.

I'm screwed.

Home and Alone

Sorry for the delay in an update. I'm back home now, and finding that post op care without an army of nurses has proven to be a challenge.

I dilate 4 times a day, have 1 shower, 2 baths, 2 douches. I have to air dry (read: lay around naked) for 30 minutes after each wet event. I also have to wash the tub before and after each wet event. I also go through tips of towels. Suddenly bathroom cleaning and laundry are something I do, whereas before the nursing staff handled it.

All in all, things are going well. It doesn't hurt to walk now, though it is easy to over do it. I plan to give all this info, including dilation explanation and dilator demo via YouTube, but concentrating enough to do and edit a video hasn't been possible for me yet.

Another girl who was in recovery with me recommended I get in touch with the local CCAC office. Basically, they send nurses to bring supplies and check on my wound. Since I've been bleeding a lot suddenly and today I noticed an odor change, I'm going to get right on that.

Some costs that have been more than expected, either in cost of time/effort or money are:

Medical pads for anywhere you sleep or sit
Towels and face cloths
Dove soap
Saline for douches

I haven't needed much in pain meds lately, beyond acetaminophen and ibuprofen, but if it turns out I do have an infection you can be sure I'll need stronger pain meds. I was previously prescribed hydromorphone for the pain.

More to come, thanks for being patient while I recover.

Residency Recovering

After the first few days of monitoring in the clinic, I am carted off to the building next door. This is the recovery center. I'll share pics in greater detail when I'm more mobile.

They encourage independence here. I replace my own dressings, go downstairs for meals, and let them know when I'm in pain vs. Nurses checking in on me. They still do the blood pressure, temperature, heart rate routine, but otherwise it's more on me.

With so many others using the wifi, I haven't even be able to watch a YouTube video unless it's 3 am. I'm really upset about the poor wifi service because I'm cut off from everyone.

They also don't permit guests outside of specific times, and only in the living room. Several guests violate this agreement but they and their daughters sprawl out on the couches for comfort, leaving me with no where to be comfortable to see my mom on the rare occasions she visits. This ends up with a blatantly biased power dynamic where trouble makers are doing anything they want and the rest of us have no choice but to lay down alone in our beds upstairs with no one to visit and no wifi to talk to anyone. I can't even talk to my daughter anymore. I'm going to bring it up today because this is absurd.

The same girls who feel they can do anything they want also feel they should make every sentence to me unsolicited advice about how to do this and that. Their "sage wisdom" has so far included trust, a mother's love, dressing well for your body, passing, and how to handle being stared at.  I am at a loss for how to explain that of the people in the conversation I am, 1. The only employed one 2. The only one who has a popular online presence 3. The only one whose heart want recently broken by some guy.

These girls need to wake the fuck up and realize it is completely inappropriate to be dispensing unsolicited advice. I guess I'll have to wake them up. Fun times.

A lot of this happened yesterday when I was sitting in the living space. Sitting is not advised for long periods. I over did it. Now I have bleeding and bruising. Yay mei. Sigh.

So today I'm going to rest until mom gets here, speak to the nurse about these couch laying bitches, and come up with a witty remark to get these children to realize I'm beyond them and their advice is not worth a dime.