I was terrified I would be the only one not dressed, but that wasn't the case! I was also concerned I was behind in progress, also seems not to be the case!
We were *all* terrified at first, it was obvious. Nobody wanted to begin, most of us were self conscious about our voices, and something else we all seemed to share... a sense of relief at no longer being alone.
It is wonderful to not feel alone. I don't mean to suggest I haven't felt supported online, or by my girlfriends. It just is something altogether differentt to sit at a conference table filled with people who totally completely get what you're going through, because they are gathered at the same place, for the same reasons.
In other news, yay for Canada, maybe... The Transgender Protection Bill was narrowly approved by the house of commons, no thanks to our Prime Minister. It is a small victory since it has to be something something'd by the conservative dominated senate. I'm sourcing plane tickets out of this snowball. Canada might have people who are open minded, but they are still voting poorly.
I'm increasingly ashamed of my country.
I learned today I CAN'T get hormones without having a psychologist. So I have to sit on these long wait lists, that are upwards of a year long, just so I can get what I deserve. I understand the idea of having a psychologist attached, but if they are unavailable, do you honestly expect me to play by the rules, Canada?
Now if only I could find the man/investor to carry me off to a more respectable and ladyboy friendly country... oh say Thailand... then I'll be doing my own porn website and earning that man /investor lots of money with live action slutfests similar to the fictional following...
Remember, little baby steps forward and dont let them get you down. You will have everything you want one day.
ReplyDeleteThings will happen. Remember you weren't this far along a year ago, nor the year before. Just look at everything is a step. . .because every time you THINK you have arrived, you'll find there is more to learn.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this, hon. I've been in contact with a local transgender support group, but have the same fear of being the only one there not dressed. Knowing you faced the fear (and weren't alone) helps . . . maybe I can actually get out to the next one.
ReplyDeleteThanks to each of you. Heather, you'll surely not be the only one not dressing how you'd like to. Interestingly enough the FtMs were mostly dressed, but only a few of the MtFs were.
ReplyDeletego gurl. live how you SHOULD live , and not like someone elses stereotype . I want to go full pre op too, and its great seeing your blog.
ReplyDeletexxx