He's so into you and you're already under his spell. That's right, swoon. He gets your number, and does he ever call? Yes!
So now you're dating a cute boy and things are going well. It kinda seems like, uh oh... he doesn't know you're a ladyboy!
WHEN AND HOW DO YOU TELL HIM?
Are we supposed to bear our genitals like a security badge at every potential new friend we meet?
Or are you proud to wave your tgirl flag. This gorgeous man is so lucky to experience ladyboy joy!
Do we wait until things start to get really good, and then risk breaking our own hearts? If you wait, are you waiting to see if he's a good guy and can handle it?
Are you leaving hints or taking him to pride parades and gauging his reaction?
Or do you do the overly-publicized "trick" and try to get away with hot boy sex without him even knowing it, trusting that once he gets a taste of ladyboy joy he's done with girls anyways?
Last week at the gender group we had a great discussion about love and being transsexual and this issue came up. There are many different perspectives and all are valid. I'm interested in yours.
Some (all, most?) guys like transsexuals, and would seek them out. That said, I think you need to tell the man fairly early on, before sex, but not when you first meet. As you say, feel him out on the subject a bit first.
ReplyDeleteLet them feel the truth sista !!
ReplyDeleteIt depends on how serious the relationship is; not every guy you meet needs to know, but once the relation ship turns in the direction of the bedroom, even faintly, better to let them know.
ReplyDeleteI was dating a girl and learned she was a tgirl. I would probably be most happy to learn after a few dates and the possibility of a relationship might occur. At that point it would be possible to figure out the direction of the relationship before deciding sex.
ReplyDeleteA big part - the main part? - of the problem is the homophobia inbred into males trough a few thousand years of religious indoctrination.
ReplyDeleteAttraction and eros are still to much focused on biological procreation. The act of sex reduced of "making babies".
What we need is a morality and renaissance that focuses on the qualities of the other person: their mind, their fantasy, their view on life, their values. And the attraction we feel for them.
If you crave for a person, are lusting for them, are captivated by their personality - does it really matter what is between their legs?
I think you should tell befor it get's too serious, to avoid risking breaking your hear. must men like t-girls, but not all are willing to let the rest of the world know. If he can't handle you and love and respect you, for who you are, then he's not worth your time. Only the best is good enough for you dear.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to put myself in the position of someone dating you and I think I'd want to know reasonably early on. I am not sure when would be a good time, I suppose that depends on both sides, but I do feel that you need to make it very clear that this is you and give him the chance to either walk away or enjoy life with you.
ReplyDeleteI feel that if you told me and I was interested in you as a person and a lover then nothing would stop me from being with you. Certainly, there has to be "chemistry" between us but if there was then telling me is the best thing to do.
How and where to do it is the tough part. I'd say that a frank talk would work with some but if you are not sure then ask him questions. Some guys do not take the direct approach well but the subtle approach can work wonders. Find out about the man you are interested in first then decide.
Where is hard! I'd argue for either a semi-private space or somewhere you know and feel safe about. Clubs are just too loud to do any good, what you say can be lost in the sounds.
Good luck to you. I have enjoyed reading your blog very much.
I'm a strange one, I guess... I have absolutely no preference between male, female or transgender. I can find love and find pleasure with either. My point is, it wouldn't bother me at all if I were told immediately or not at all.
ReplyDeleteThat said... I'm the only man I know to be this way, even among those friends of mine that share my taste and my openness... Every other man I know would prefer to be told from the beginning... Which, as much as I can understand it, I still find annoying for some reason...