I have some fun and sexy things coming up that I am so eager to share with you. For now, let me just say a few things.
I cried today while watching You've Got Mail. Tom Hanks is simply a delight.
I think I'm sorta depressed. I have been cancelling social plans and staying at home to hide from the sun. It seems that when I think about the day ahead and all the hair removal that I have to do to prepare I get depressed. It isn't sexy, but I guess it makes sense. I don't have any money but I'll need to figure a way to get laser hair removal going on all body parts more quickly than I expected I would require. I still have prepay with a crappy laser place, I guess I will go back there.
The first people I told about my transition, my closest friends that I have blogged about repeatedly, have stopped talking to me. I didn't know why they suddenly cut all contact, save to let me know they were doing what I had expressed interest in doing together. "Hey just letting you know we are doing pole dancing lessons without you, kthxbyebye."
I finally met up with one of them, to give her dresses back to her. Only way it seems I could get their attention, to return stuff. She wasn't even going to tell me, she wanted to talk about her stuff. I had to pull it out of her, and that's when she told me why they aren't my friends.
"We are sick of hearing about you doing porn."
I'm not going to change who I am to save friends. That kind of sacrifice destroys self esteem. I've been waiting since I was a child to do porn. Ya, fucked up I know, but while other children dreamed of being doctors and lawyers, I dreamed of doing porn.
So the first two people I trusted with my transition no longer like the person I have transitioned to become. No big deal, I'll make new friends, and some of those who have experience with porn cite this as something that happens. My Mom freaked out and my baby mama told me my daughter will be ashamed of me. I don't really feel like I can relate to the people from my past anymore.
I cleared out my wishlist, it was filled with old stuff. I put a few new items on the wish list. For FanExpo and most definitely for super hero porn, I'll do videos with either and any of the following that I am surprised with as a gift:
Wonder Woman |
Supergirl |
Which heroine should I get fucked on film as? Maybe both. My wish list widget should be on the bottom of my blog, but here it is: Buy Mei Pretty Things!
I actually watched a really sexy Wonder Woman hypnosis video. Wonder Sluts.
Sorry to hear that the people who should be supporting you are pulling away. I'm confident all your cyberfriends will be able to hold you over until they come around, darlin'.
ReplyDeleteIts never nice losing friends, especially ones who have supported you for so long. But at the same time when you go through massive changes in your life sacrifices have to be made in order for you to achieve happiness, and like you said, sometimes you find you dont relate to people anymore in the same way and they tend to get left behind.
ReplyDeleteI suppose there is a stigma attached to doing porn that they clearly dont want to get caught up in, but they could have at least been up front about it rather than just giving you the silent treatment.
I agree with these two, if they were your friends and they knew you were going to do porn, they should've supported you and be friends with for who you really are, a blooming girl who has troubles just like any other person in the world. Oh yes I am curious, could I ask you some questions sometime?
ReplyDeleteYup, my yahoo is the same name as my blog, tumblr, etc.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that things are so shit. I can see this post was a while ago, so I hope things are a little better now. It's easy to just say, "stuff the people who reject you, and do what you want to do", but that that isn't easy at all, I imagine. Good luck, and hopefully things are at least a little bit better now.
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