Carving Reality

I've reached out to three of the more famous Doctor's in Thailand who perform feminization surgeries on ladyboys. I expect a response shortly and I hope the results are favourable.

My lawyer pointed out that Thailand is a much more affordable option, and if the safety worry that North American propaganda places on international medicine is a factor, having the surgery filmed as part of a documentary certainly offsets that.

My Brother reaffirmed what I've heard before; Thailand is world reknown for their cosmetic medicine.

Doctor's in Canada and the United States that I have met with have given me quotes of upwards of 25 thousand dollars for breast, waist, and face changes.

I have many accounts from trans women who went to Thailand that those changes AND MORE combine to less than 10 thousand dollars.

Pair that with the chance to rehabilitate in paradise and be in a land where I feel like my soul hails from makes this an exciting time for me.

I feel like, being poor and having not even a penny saved, it is important for me to set a date and prepare my schedule now. I have chosen the ressurection of someone important to me to be the same date of my resurrection.

I wish upon a star that I will somehow find the about 10 thousand dollars I need to become the ladyboy I was destined to be. It has been a frustrating place to be in knowing that I have to have the money to do the surgeries, before I can truly create the content that will earn many times that number afterwards.

If this were a simple business matter it would be an exciting venture for Men to invest in. Buy the ladyboy's body and you will see your investment pay a healthy return in her sexual creativity.

My blog already has a presence, it isn't like suddenly what I'm good at no longer has economic potential because it is real. The potential increases.

It is time to begin whoring, though, to earn the money. I'll go back and beg my Dad for money but I have no faith he will help me. None of my friends or family are able to help me, and I cannot even help myself because all my money goes to my daugther.

It is also interesting how now that I'm picking a date the opinions of my friend's have changed. I get blasted with the worry, have you thought about this long enough, maybe you should wait, I just want you to make the right decision, I'm just worried about you doing this alone.

I am alone, what difference does it make? I want the people, friends and family alike who project their worry on me to vanish from my life. Maybe when I go to Thailand I will stay there, and let Bangkok swallow me up.

I just want to be me. Why do I have to fight so hard?

For the first time ever, I'm going to show you my before pictures. I have worried that they would simply distract from the essence of who I am, but I want to show you again, in order to wish out the universe that this IS going to happen. This is me now. On my rebirth, March 26 2012, whether I have to beg or whore my way through, I will I have my fucking surgeries.