Boipussy meets Mr. Dildo

I don't really live in an environment that makes toying my pussy easy. I have this really gorgeous black realistic dong, and I'm told he's way girthy, but I don't get to make love to him. Moreover, when I do get the time, I go dick dumb after just getting his head inside. This past weekend I enlisted help, and this is what I've learned...

Once someone pushes my toy inside me, I work for them. Fucking ladyboy pie is like an instant connection to the subconscious, kinda like hypnosis.

It hurts at first but once my pussy adjusts to having something big and hard inside everything becomes clear. Well, everything about that dildo becomes clear. Pleasure, sensory overload, pressure. The pressure would build and spread throughout me with each thrust, but when those dildo balls were slapping against me it was building trust.

Feels so good though, makes me wanna cry. Seems like my help finds it obvious that I was born to take the cock. I didn't want to stop, don't ever want to stop getting fucked. There were all these phone calls but I mean go the fuck away, I couldn't carry on a conversation anyway!

I'm a big fan of lube, want it running down my balls. Want that sloppy sloshing fuky fuky to mix in with the symphony of my moans. Ya, it turns out I'm a noisy fuck, and even though I get dick dumb fast, I'm still very talkative. Bursts of laughter, screams of pleasure, slutty confessions and pleas for more. That dildo touched something in my mind and I'll do anything to get filled more.
There really is no denying it, I feel like I've got a schoolgirl crush. My toy boyfriend is so dreamy and I love to kiss and nuzzle and just stare at him after he turns my ladyboy pie to mush.

Coming Out and Doctors Appointment

I had felt really emotionally broken after learning that more of my time had been wasted by the health care system in Canada. Who turns off a fax machine when they take a MONTH off for vacation? Seriously lame..

Regardless, my gender group has proven to be a boon already. I was given a pamphlet for a local health center that is currently accepting new trans patients. My intake appointment is next Wednesday!

Not only is it super lucky that they are accepting me immediately, but the health center is 10 minutes away from me!!!

Another useful nearby building is a laser hair removal school. 500 meters from me to be precise. I emailed them a proposal to develop their web presence and be a body for their students to practice on in exchange for free laser hair removal. I am anxiously awaiting their reply.

This weekend was particularly emotional for me. I came out to my Mother. It was extremely difficult, but I felt it was necessary. In the case that I succumbed to my depression and ended my life, at least my Mother would know why. I did not expect what happened...

My Mother is 100% supportive. She offered to pay for the psychologist, psychiatrist, or psychotherapist that is evidently required before the endocrinologist who never got my referral will put me on hormones. By telling my Mother, not only does she now understand why I have been so angry all my life, but she understands, quite clearly, that I will die if I do not transform. It is a simple reality.

I feel a renewed sense of optimism, one I will carry with me to the gender support group this Wednesday, and my new trans-specific physician the following Wednesday.

Gender Support Group and Hormones Thwarted!

So I'm in! This week was my first session with the support group and wow what a group! Lots of people there, MtFs and FtMs, eclectic in age, race, and all sorts of uniqueness.

I was terrified I would be the only one not dressed, but that wasn't the case! I was also concerned I was behind in progress, also seems not to be the case!

We were *all* terrified at first, it was obvious. Nobody wanted to begin, most of us were self conscious about our voices, and something else we all seemed to share... a sense of relief at no longer being alone.

It is wonderful to not feel alone. I don't mean to suggest I haven't felt supported online, or by my girlfriends. It just is something altogether differentt to sit at a conference table filled with people who totally completely get what you're going through, because they are gathered at the same place, for the same reasons.

In other news, yay for Canada, maybe... The Transgender Protection Bill was narrowly approved by the house of commons, no thanks to our Prime Minister. It is a small victory since it has to be something something'd by the conservative dominated senate. I'm sourcing plane tickets out of this snowball. Canada might have people who are open minded, but they are still voting poorly.

I'm increasingly ashamed of my country.

I learned today I CAN'T get hormones without having a psychologist. So I have to sit on these long wait lists, that are upwards of a year long, just so I can get what I deserve. I understand the idea of having a psychologist attached, but if they are unavailable, do you honestly expect me to play by the rules, Canada?

Now if only I could find the man/investor to carry me off to a more respectable and ladyboy friendly country... oh say Thailand... then I'll be doing my own porn website and earning that man /investor lots of money with live action slutfests similar to the fictional following...

Shemale LoLs

Last year I made a few lolcat inspired captions. After making the motivational posters, I felt like doing some more instinct-based writing. Several are here, but once again you can find the majority on my imagefap profile, which should be one of your bookmarked favourite web pages by now.

Shemale

I know there is a lot of stigma surrounding porn term 'shemale'. I don't share that. I find a source of pride in the term. Think of me what you will, I'm a proud shemale.

I decided to let my creative rivers flow with the word and my glowing shemale pride, in the form of motivational posters.

The reason I find these enjoyable is because I do them on rapid-fire, with no thought. I work entirely on instinct, to achieve what I think is a pure emotional commentary on myself and, by extension, others like me who find pride in the word.

I am not even implying that all trans are shemales, it simply isn't the case. I'm talking about those of us who can comfortably find pride in defining *ourselves* as shemales. Its a sub group to be certain, and I'm sure some people reading this are fuming and writing on their boring little blogs about how angry they are and how I am such a horrid monster. Increasingly I relate to Tila Tequila and Kim Kardashian more than I do with the majority of this community.

Please find the larger collection of motivational posters at my friendly-neighborhood imagefap profile.

Caption Me! Definitively Mei

So how amazing is Jessica Bangkok, right? She's such an influence of mine, as previously blogged. This picture especially is just so definitively 'me'.

I think it would be such a fun and interactive experience to have a little caption bouncing here. As a comment to this blog post, make a brief caption about me in this picture. You know which one I am. The fabulous.

Jessica Bangkok

One of my influences in adult entertainment is Jessica Bangkok. I think she's fabulous. She has some of the best outfits for porn, really knows how to present herself, and she's a curvy bitch to boot!

I'd love to resemble her!

Modern Goddess: Give in to Nature

Simone is absolutely incredible. If you haven't had the chance to visit her blog Modern Goddess you should now, and if you do visit regularly, go again now!

I'm so grateful to be one of her pawns. I light candles in her honour, and I pray that her powers will manifest and I can be swept up into the feminine life I do so deserve.

Thank you, Goddess, for sculpting me again.