Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Liking trans women is the straight thing to do

I recently received a comment on an old blog post about trans porn outpacing cis porn:

"If your husband is into trans-porn, it makes you feel physically ill and unloved and unwanted. When the husband comes to have sex with his wife, he is virtually impotent from stroking himself in a death grip to trans-porn. I don't see how this can be a thing we celebrate. So-called "straight" men who want to use up all their sex drives on people with cocks should have a different terminology; they are not straight. A man should NOT marry and, after 22 years, accidentally let his wife find out that he is attracted to "something else" more than to her. It is just like cutting off a wife's sex parts and stabbing her in the heart, ruining her life forever"

I am not okay with putting straight in quotes to describe cis hetero-normative males who are attracted to trans women. This woman, despite her trials, is a bigot plain and simple. 

There are lots of definitions about what infidelity entails. I don't believe porn qualifies as cheating, but perhaps you do. Cheating or not. I think it is pretty obvious that neither partner in that relationship is happy. What are you doing in a relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself? He desires another woman, she desires a man who is a bigot. This attempt at putting the blame on trans women is absurd. 

Stuff like this happens all the time because of bigots like this woman. Most of society is a giant bigot hive, wagging fingers and thumping bibles at anyone who doesn't fit their narrow definition of how to be. I can count on one hand the number of sexual partners. men and women. who have been comfortable with their friends, loved ones. or even strangers being seen in public with me. ONE HAND.

If society was not being so completely homo and transphobic that guy would never have married this bigot woman in the first place! He would have been free to pursue his desires and find a partner that suits his needs. I would like to say it is getting better but I don't date teenagers and that is where it is getting better. I still can't find guys who want to date me, only guys who want to fuck me in their apartment or in a hotel. Women are just the same.

Cis people need to get over themselves. Nobody wants to be hooked up with someone who doesn't have the confidence to publicly declare their interest in trans women. 

If you are looking to make real connections with trans women and not just fetishize us or hide us in your hotel rooms so your neighbours don't have to see you bring us home, check out Plenty of TS through the banners on my blog and tumblr and the link below. 



  1. I always find it disgusting how many people think that being attracted to transwomen makes you gay or bi. I can honestly say I would nver think of anyone who was attracted to or dating a transwoman as anything other than heterosexual. Sexual attraction is not based on a persons genetics but thier gender identity. And transwomen in that aspect are female what is gay about a male being attracted to a female? Nothing.

  2. Is being curious about dating/sexual experimentation with a transwoman something you would need a new comer to be open to everyone about? I for one have been curious for a long time, but am curious about the sexual experimentation, not shouting my kinks from the mountain tops. Is it ok to be discrete in the beginning or is it a must to be open about your sexual wants/desire?


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