Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Donating Mei


I've struggled with this for awhile. I work hard to make things happen on my own but in order to achieve my dreams I need funding. I want to be self sufficient, but I want to be lady fabulous more. I'm reaching out to those who have enjoyed me so far, and look forward to enjoying me in high definition in the future.

I'm ambitious and I am committed to being the sexual diva I present myself as here. I want my time spent with fashion and filming sex and documentaries. The goal is to go full time lady fabulous and launch an adult website.

Donating helps me make this come true. Just because I love metaphors, consider it as an opportunity to be part of a rebirth. Your support will directly go to rebuilding me into the ladyboy joy you have heard from on this blog and in the community for years.

If you want to a more detailed breakdown about how your contribution will be used via documentary and body changes, or if you have any questions or concerns or just want to talk, email me.

My friend Jinx made some fakes of me.
I want to be me everyday, online isn't enough.

So please help the cause by clicking the donate button on the side bar of my blog. ---->

I'm so proud to be a digital slut for all of you. I want to continue to express myself sexually online, but I want to be the star of my own captions and videos.




Sunday, May 22, 2011

Financing Ladyboys

In Canada production companies just pretend to be wealthy. In truth they live off of tax credits, which my documentary is ineligible for because this is transgender content. Because they can't get tax credits, no production company in Canada will touch me.



There are US and international options, and we are looking into it, but the most likely situation is that I will have to raise the budget for the documentary and produce it myself, hopefully with a commitement and license fee of a distributor.



I have been doing some light filming for my documentary, interviewing friends, family, and trans-support professionals. Bad news then comes: I have to self finance the documentary. Great.



Just because my life is apparently too easy, there is more: As the "subject" of this documentary, I am not "allowed" to earn a salary, receive residual profits, and (best part) I have to pay for every single cent of my transformation without help.



I'll figure it out, somehow.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Jealousy


I'm tired of being envious of others, tgirls or women. I'm tired of feeling like Superman's villainess, trapped in mirror in space.

I want to be full time Mei. I have too much weight on my shoulders and I feel weaker each day.

I have so much pushing against me, where is the roflcopter to carry me to lady fabulous?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Anti Androgens

I got my prescription for anti androgens this week. I'll be taking Spironolactone, an anti androgen that doesn't block testosterone, it blocks the *effects* of testosterone. Also it a diuretic, so I will be a lot. Spiro is used as a blood pressure medication, so I'll feel calmer too perhaps lol.



It feels good to know I am moving forwards, but it is frustrating that I should, wisely, wait until partly through this probationary period for a new job before going deep into HRT and emotional lala land.


My Doctor tells me it isn't a chaotic time, the emotions are not random, it just means if I am taking estrogen and I have life challenges, I will be more susceptible to emotional outbursts due to them.

Darlin' have I got life challenges...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Game of Thrones

I really like HBO content. I'd like my shows to be on HBO someday, and I believe they will be. For now, Game of Thrones is fantastic, filled with hot boys, and has a delicate balance of fantasy, fighting, and fucking.


I am particularly drawn to a character I did not think I would like at all. Daenerys. I am finding myself fantasizing of being in her position, but also empathizing with her plight. There is a wonderful balance of sexuality and submission here, especially since you can really feel the cold, the grit, the trap Daenerys is in.



I often fantasize and roleplay about being a trophy to be gifted to a king. I daydream of being a political chess piece, given at a party of wealth to ensure big business has its way.



I deserve to be pampered, bathed in milk, tended to by servants. I am not a dominant. I deserve it because it is my purpose to be pleasure. A Queen in a Game of Thrones does not necessarily begin her journey as a matriarch of will and way.



“I would let his whole tribe fuck you. All 40000 men and their horses too if that’s what it took.”
-Viserys
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