"Is being curious about dating/sexual experimentation with a transwoman something you would need a new comer to be open to everyone about? I for one have been curious for a long time, but am curious about the sexual experimentation, not shouting my kinks from the mountain tops. Is it ok to be discrete in the beginning or is it a must to be open about your sexual wants/desire?"
I think there is always a certain amount of discretion that goes in to a new relationship, regardless of gender. We don't broadcast that we have a boyfriend until we are confident we do, we don't tell Mom and Dad until we are sure it is serious, etc. Well, unless you are me and then you do so readily and get your heart broken and everybody asks about how your BF is doing. Thanks HPD!
Discretion is part of the first phase of dating. Transphobia is when you want to be discrete because you don't believe trans women are normal and you wouldn't want to be seen publicly associating with someone you don't think is normal.
There is a lot of pressure to avoid us. Pressure from a transphobic society. Many people want to abscond to hotel rooms for experimentational sex and then return to their transphobic lives with their transphobic family members none the wiser.
While I appreciate the pressure you are facing, we face it too. I endure it constantly and yet decided to stand up and be myself about it. Why would I want a partner who isn't doing the same? Some of us might think it is fine. I imagine that is what escorts are referring to when they say they are great for beginners. I have just come to the conclusion that I am not great for beginners. I don't have any malice towards you, but when I'm looking for a boyfriend, I need one who is comfortable having everyone know he is my boyfriend.