Tumbling and Twatting

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Fetish Fury

“So do you, or do you not endorse coaxing people into thinking that what they are aroused by is indicative of an underlying discord? Also do you believe that how one relates, rationalizes and desires plays no part in how one identifies oneself?” - Anonymous

I’m... I’m honestly shocked. Wait, let’s go back. Let’s get a little context. So I totally did this crossdreaming blog fiesta recently and the last post was here. It’s like, right below this one, but don’t make eye contact, it’s super involved with like 19 comments and counting.

Anonymous, which seems like such a popular name these days, seems to feel marginalized for being sexually attracted to an unspecified method of feminization. He seems angry at Jack Molay and this is where the confusion really sets in for me.

Anonymous suggests people are being wrongfully convinced that they have gender identity issues because they are sexually attracted to feminization. Or something like that, I’m trying to piece together a message from his several posts. So Anonymous has asked me whether I endorse this.

See, my mind is boggled how someone can think the two have anything to do with one another. I am a slut and I loves me all kinds of sex. I want to be led out like a pet on a leash and gangbanged as entertainment for a party of wealthy men and women. Having them pet me, patronize me in that deliriously wonderful condescending tone that they give to dogs, and else stuff. That does not mean at all that I want to be a dog. 

My identity is not exclusively made up of sexual fantasies. I have an xbox and shit. I own a car. I’m a real person yo.

I may be your pet, but I still have to pay taxes.

Since each person’s situation is unique, wtf is your point anyways? We’re going to argue generalizations about gender identity and sexual identity? How would we do that? What Rosetta stone exists to help us discuss any of this?

For argument’s sake, let’s generalize the fuck out of this. If you’re getting sexually aroused by wearing women’s clothing or dreaming about being a woman, you might be a crossdresser or you might be a crossdreamer. I’m just stabbing the dark on the meaning of crossdreamer now since it has been established it was created by Jack Molay. Ask Jack what he intended by the statement. If you’re identifying with crossdreaming but in a sexual fetish way, then I figure the term fits and so I’m using it in this case.

In either case, if you’re sexually excited by these ideas but you have no desire to pursue transition, that’s clue number one you aren’t differently gendered. It isn’t a hard and fast rule by any means, but for my reply to this discussion it works just fine.

About being coerced to transition: wtf are you smoking? You’ve been reading too many stories and captions Captain Anonymous, and you clearly have very little respect for the differently gendered. Let me walk you through why the idea of being convinced into transition when you don’t really want it is absolutely clown shoes ridiculous.

I never felt right, even as a kid. I didn’t know what the issue was, but as I grew and learned more I felt significant and ongoing displeasure with myself, my body, my reflection in the mirror. I felt off. I didn’t need to be convinced or coerced to become a woman. When I learned that was even possible, and began my journey, you couldn’t coerce or convince me NOT to transition. It was like a floodgate opened, it was like I had been freed from tyranny, it was like I had found the cure for a serious illness, like I discovered fucking Science!

For me, as a transgendered person, I busted my ass and have been crawling through enormous difficulty to be the person I feel in the cells of my body, in the aching of my bones that I need to be. I struggle against a system that is designed to resist my success, a system of gender binary and intolerance where depending on which nation I visit I may not have basic human rights.

I’m totally shocked by this protest in the first place. There is no conspiracy against cisgendered guys who get off dreaming about or dressing as a woman. No plot exists to convince you to transition for some nefarious ladyboy-army building purpose. This world fights transgender people tooth and nail, and how dare you try to compare your right to get that tiny dick of yours off in a pair of lace panties like a good little cuck to me travelling across the entire mother-fucking world to get a fair price on breast implants and risk surgery and the possibility of never seeing my daughter’s face again. If you’re a cisgendered guy who just likes getting off to ideas of feeling feminine sometimes, boo hoo! Go take your male privilege to the food bank and try to trade all the ways you’re on top of the world like food stamps.

Please, by all means, pull your widdle dickie and dream about being a girl. Nobody cares. Nobody wants to stop you. In fact I want you to do it more. I’m happy you do it. I bet you make wet little cummies when you read about me being wrongfully coerced into transition in my captions. 

Be proud of your fetish, not defensive

Refused Service

I was refused service at a cafeteria in my work complex. I had to have my coworker buy the coke zero for me, cause I love coke zero you see. It's like I'm losing weight with bubbles!

Anyways, ya. The old ass couple who run the shindig didn't even acknowledge me beyond the stares and the obvious walking away.

Crossdreaming of a Better World

I am wondering why you focus on the crossdreamer term. It is relatively new and that community is still settling. There has been discussion by a small number of folks who are pushing the fetish theory very hard, but they seem to be being told off. I just hate to see a term floated and embraced initially by folks who are not in the fetish theory camp lose it's intended meaning because of a few bad apples.

Crossdreaming to my knowledge does not in any way mean that being transgender is a fetish, there just happen to be fetish theory folks operating in the crossdreaming space. Crossdreaming was intended as a term for folk who have trans feelings but feel that medical intervention or other physical expression of their feelings was not appropriate for them. Folks in that category have generally not been welcome to discuss their feeling in trans identified spaces. It is not all just what gets you off, as the fetish theory folks say, it is about how you feel in a variety of ways.

This is the problem within the larger community... always someone trying to say the other guy is just a pervert, so everyone ends up with strange stilted discussions and scrolling through reams of fiction and captions to find the few things that match their experience or desires alone.

-Anonymous

You're right, I should not be specifying Cross dreamers. Thanks for bringing this up, and I apologize.

However, I don't think it is fair to say it is a small number of cross dreamers that are pushing negative and damaging autogynephilia theories. I don't have specific numbers but the reason I tagged cross dreaming in the transphobia post, albeit unfairly as you pointed out, was because it seems very common that the two are connected.

I've read comments from cross dreamers that they feel marginalized by others in the transgender community. I think there is a lot of internal fighting going on even in the larger LGBT community, and none of it is helpful. That said, I hardly think cross dreamers are marginalized any more by transsexuals than they marginalize transsexuals. Transphobia is so deeply internalized in the cross dreamer community that they do not recognize how damaging and unacceptable it is to fetishize becoming a “real girl” and then place negative value-judgements on, insult, and attempt to  censor and ostracize “that shemale stuff”.

That shemale stuff is so gay.

The absolute best example I can give, that might exist on the internet is TF-Media, and the vast majority of its fans, contributors, and captioners. The old site is dead, but a new blog has risen, and there are so many bloggers out there that are part of this deeply transphobic and almost entirely cross dreaming gang. I was there very briefly, and my content was summarily rejected by the site administrator EXPLICITELY for being gay. Gay. Transgender issues, to TF-Media and EVERY SINGLE SUPPORTOR BY EXTENTION... are gay. 

This is autogynephilia. 

This is transphobia. 

This is cross dreamers. 

You’ll hear lots of applause for TF-Media, and that’s applause from transphobic people. They don’t think they are, but they are.

If you want other examples, look to the sites I mentioned before: havens, sanctuaries, and a whole lot of confessions on blogs. This is the cross dreaming community, and this is where transphobic remarks are found, and this is not generally where transgender content is accepted.

So you are correct, not all cross dreamers are transphobic. Too many are.

Ask Mei: Genitals

QUESTION

 I totally agree with you about the validation, I go online and do video chat. I just like to tease the boys despite the fact that I still feel very heterosexual. It just makes me feel fantastic to be desired.  As for stories I read I think it’s the process of the feminization of the body that gets me every time shaven legs, plucked brows and sometimes hormones. Also I love the loss of control in some stories, ya know the "she made me do it so mentally my hands are clean of wrong doings but I still get to experience it"

A little background info on me I'm in my thirties now with a wife and kids (wife knows and is supportive of me) .So transitioning for me is going to be difficult at best.

Here's another question for ya!  I love to look feminine and act femme but I also love having a penis. I've read a lot of people that transition hate their genitalia but I don't and I don't have any interests in men....but I still love the idea of being in a females body... did I break my brain or am I literally in the middle a gender grey area. 

inny or outy, ladies be ladies

ANSWER

I'm in a common-law relationship, or now defunct one, with a 2 year old daughter. Transition in a relationship was a mixed blessing. We are family now, not a couple in my case. We are here together to support each other and raise our daughter, but tensions often run high. My daughter has accepted it entirely. I leave it to her to decide what to call me; I feel no need to pressure my child.

While having body dysphoria is often part and parcel of being differently gendered, it doesn't have to take a focused form of having your genitalia. I do not have strong negative feelings towards my little lolipop. I do not use it in the traditional sense, and will never ever top someone but that does not mean that she is masculine or something I hate. I feel she is feminine, and she is cute and small and limp. She is part of my journey. Granted wearing certain outfits and catching a breeze head-on gives me away, but that's life. If I feel the pressure to remove my genitals in order to be more congruent and stealth in society at some point I may consider it, but as of right now I'd like to get an orchiectomy, but keep my dicklet.

mei

Ask Mei: Feminization fantasies

QUESTION

I have a few questions and I'm interested in your point of view.

For me being fem and the fantasies I have had seemed like one thing to me all rolled up but lately I've kinda parted them in two. There's the kinky side with feminization involved but there is my non sexual dressing up because I love it and I love being a lady (as close as I can get anyways.)

Do you separate the sexual desires with transgenerdness or are they one in the same. Or misinterpreted sexual nature all of one with both genders. I have no idea.

ANSWER

OMG great question! Thanks for asking me, and I'm super proud you wish to hear my POV.

They are two things for me, and that being said, I actually do not feel any sexual interest in feminization, so they are actually one thing. I require constant validation of my femininity, and I feel positive, uplifted, and excited when I receive that validation, but I wouldn't say that is the sexual focus, it just makes me feel sexy. That's true of many girls though, being validated for being feminine and sexy gets people feeling sexy!

I find concepts that seem included in feminization sexy, but since feminization implies I'm not feminine enough, I actually find it negative and a buzz kill. This is personally speaking of course. It wasn't always that way either, but it was more of a hopeful feeling than a sexual one, and again it was the surrounding concepts that excited me.

Coercion, seduction, corruption, D/s and playing with themes of sexuality and the ending of innocence. These are some of the elements that make up feminization. I find them deliciously exciting, and that was always what I loved about my captions and the work of others. If the focus was just "yeah, I'm female now so I wear (insert detailed clothing description)" it totally lost my attention.

I think if you are feeling a divide between the sexiness of feminization and the general comfort and positive natural feeling of being feminine you might want to consider exploring your gender identity in an official capacity. That's what I did when I realized I couldn't continue as a male, being unhappy when I felt just so darn happy and relaxed in heels and colourful dresses, being referred to as female.

sparkles and rainbows,

mei

I Want to be Relevant

I'm very happy to be talking to some really talented people about doing photo shoots in the coming weeks. A comment by the always fabulous Betty in the previous post touched on part of why I want in this crazy porno game.

I want to be relevant.

It can often be difficult to find transgender porn content that has the same charm and creativity as the best of its cisgender equivalents. Sample size is likely to blame, but I'm open to other theories.

A lot of the content that does exist is oppressive in nature. "Trannies" that are naked or will be in moments, with viagra-fueled erections to stuff in all the curious males. Conversely there are the fragile and feminine ladyboys who get that dick inside them by the same guys in the same hotel rooms.

Exceptions do exist! In greater frequency as well. Young Asian Trannies make remarkable use of colour, Bailey Jay bring the nerd girl super power to an America too content with the same old. I want to be another example of transgender content that uses colour and expresses something beyond the fuck.

There will be fucking involved, of course, but my creative and sexual expression should stand out and resist oppressive male view. Basically I want my porn decidedly feminist. That doesn't mean dominant, it doesn't mean bitchy. It means behind the camera and in front, this isn't going to be run by men.

Men are welcome to be involved, of course. I'm happy to work with everyone. I'm talking about male view. The idea that the models should be super thin, with specific looks and postures that diminish quality in favour of something decidedly contrived and played out.

If you're looking to learn more about feminist porn and resisting male view google is your friend. I'm not playing by an6yy set of feminist rules either, I aim to do things my way. I don't figure I'll get rich but I don't care. I just want my creativity to be relevant to change.


To that end, my imagefap profile was a featured one yesterday. How fun!

Autogynephilia

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Mei @ Work

Crossdreaming and Transphobia

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