Size Queen

It comes as no surprise that I'm very attracted to men, and of course a certain reverence for cocks goes with the territory. Sure, I love a man's big hands, his voice, his smell, and his chest and abs, his everything, but there is something instinctively religious about succumbing to the will of a big swinging dick.

The cock is such a thing of beauty, its personality is unique to the male. Veins, thickness, textures, cut or uncut, there is just so much that makes a man's cock "His" and dicks are so beautiful it makes me want them inside me soOOo bad!

Cock is cock, but what I wish I understood about myself is why I find myself instinctively drawn to BIG dicks. I mean big, heavy, slut taming dongs. I want to feel the weight on my face, I want to work to get that godstick down my throat, and I want to touch heaven when the fullness overwhelms me and the men who have em know it! They know I can't help myself around a hung male, I just gotta suck him and fawn over him and get my tight little boipussy ruled by him.

They say cocks can be too big, why can't I agree with that!?

A science guy told me about how ladyboys were designed for big dicks, cause our asspussies are longer inside and can accomodate big swinging breeders where girls can't. I know hung men so often have self esteem issues because stupid girls complain about their size and the pain. Doesn't it just seem so perfectly natural, then, that shemales and hung men were born to be mated together?!
So here's to all you hung men out there, I love you long time!

Yummy Mummy!

That's right the baby is born! I'm a yummy mummy now, soon to be pushing my stroller around and getting all the looks from the boys on the street.

I'm super excited because my daughter is soOo cute! I'm so going to impart all my fashion ideas and teach her how to get all the attention from the boys!

Don't worry boys, having my baby has only made me even needier sexually! I don't know what it is, but being a MILF now just has set me on fire, I want all of you to fuck me in one endless gangbang I want to breed so bad, cum in me and maybe if enough big strong men fuck me senseless I'll actually get knocked up!

Girls! Is it just me, or does the idea of being a MILF like me get you excited?

100 000 lovers

I'm so proud! Last night my imagefap profile went over 100 thousand views! I am so grateful for all of you who have had such sweet orgasms to my ideas. I like it when you get off on my mind. Cum splashes on my brain so often.

Gender Clinic: Results

Can't avoid the cliche.. it has been awhile. Wow lots happened. I'll update over time. Let's discuss the gender clinic first, kay?

I had my gender clinic evaluations and got a big sparkly stamp of "GENDER DYSPHORIA" approval. It feels pretty good, to be confirmed, validated.

That is all the gender clinic can offer. I was thinking about it. Being Canadian, I've grown up with the idea that if something is going on, you go to the appropriate organizational body and they help you through it. Being transgender doesn't work that way. It should, but it doesn't. The gender clinic stated, peacefully and supportively, that this is up to me, I am on my own.

When to take HRT, what to take, if to take it at all, the surgeries, everything except for SRS is up to me. I need no permission.

I'm being referred to an endocronologist and they can help me begin this journey. The problem, of course, is cost. I don't have a solution for that yet.

Enjoy some tasty shemale treats, oui?

Sporting Life

I never was much of a sporty person. I find most sports games boring, though oddly I like the idea of making snacks and serving drinks to the guys while they watch the game.

Luckily not being sporty has helped me have a soft body which makes it easier to pass! Super!

Doctored

So while I fidget to get comfy on long wait lists for tg support programs, counselling, and TG experienced physicians, I have a small bit of movement from my current Doctor.

I had the HRT protocols for him, but he's opting instead to refer me to an endocrinologist instead. I suppose I wanted him to say he'd take this adventure on himself, but it makes way better sense to have the professional hormone magicians sparkle dust over me instead.

Regardless, I can't afford it yet. I wonder if a "donate" button would be a good idea for my blog...

Pornstar Vanity Interview

Vanity is an inspiration, and I was overjoyed to find this interview with her. If anyone has interviews with other transsexual pornstars I would very much like to watch them.

Feminine Voice Training

Hiyas people!

So on my quest to become a fabulous shemale pornstar there many facets of femininity that I have to drown in. Since it is my thoughts and words that make you gorgeous men feel sooO good you want to sneak me around your girlfriends backs and buy me things, that is something I want to focus really hard on!

Now I'm very blessed to have been a chatty child, and practiced silly voices often. I have several years experience in voice work and radio production, so I understand the basics of making my voice feminine without help. That doesn't change the fact I have to practice practice practice just as much as all of you girls.

Now I've included a few videos below, but I'll go through the basics with you here.

1. Reach for falsetto, not to stay at falsetto, but to learn to speak without resonance.

2. Think about how you want to sound, bimbo or not.. find your own unique voice.

3. Practice. You'll want to use a voice recorder to play it back to yourself.

Now you don't have to buy a fancy recorder, and honestly most smartphones can download apps of voice recording, and most mp3 players have that function. Because I work in sound production already, I have a Zoom Handy Recorder H4n. Very overkill.

CandiFLA is a great resource on youtube for how to train your voice to be feminine. When I found her, thanks to Megan, I was absolutely shocked at how much like me she is. She is very much my end goal for physical appearance, but also she has humour, confidence, and flirtatiousness that I share. One of the most interesting aspects about Candi is that she reverts to male voice frequently. That is very rare, and special, since it shows how deep voiced males can acheive feminine voices despite their starting points.

The following are some of her videos on voice training:

For me, it is very difficult to practice without privacy. My gf is on maternity leave, she is always here, always asking me what I'm doing, always in the same room. I will take my recorder and go outside, but then I'm doing it outside. I'm not sure what a good option is, but I have to find one, if I am to sound feminine when I dress as a woman, for Halloween...

Caught! Without support

I'm having a really hard time getting the guidance I need to pursue my transformation. Wait lists abound. 9 month wait list here, 1.5 year wait list there, 3 months is so far the fastest. In the meantime, I've been given a list of Hormone Replacement Therapy protocols to provide to my Doctor. If he is up for the quest, he'll prescribe them himself, if not, I've also been given a list of endocrinologists he can refer me to.

It is progress, but it is slow.

I have been having a hard time of it, mostly the continued stress put on my common law partner. She finds my nail polish and it is amusing, she sees me putting it on, and she cries for 24 hours. She finds my dress and its amusing, but I shudder to think how long she would cry if she saw me wearing it.

Cum makes you happy!

I was overjoyed to read that getting our boipussies full of cum will help us be docile and happy! I look forward to creampie relaxation techniques! Thanks to Orva for finding this tidbit for me!